F this year!

Last week Dan got put on some new medicine, and after he took it the first day, he started to have stomach pains on the lower half of his medicine.  Looked up the meds, this was a side effect, though somewhat a rare one.  Called the Psychiatrist, said take it every other day.  So he did, but the pain persisted.  I started to have really bad stomach pain Saturday night while I was really sick.  We figured it was probably a flu bug type thing and it would pass, but Dan thought that maybe it still had to do with the new medicine.  Sunday I was still sick, but the stomach pain was gone. 

Monday he calls the Psychiatrist back, they say call your PCP, he calls the PCP they say, "We didn't prescribe you the new drug call your Psychiatrist.  So he calls them back and gets an appointment with the Dr. at noon.  Here I was thinking it was the flu bug like mine, and told Dan to do what he wanted but it was probably nothing and let it go. 

So he canceled the psychiatrist, and after some advice from other folks he took some metamucil and felt better.  Ok we thought problem solved! 

Later that night and early this morning the pain came back, and when we talked this morning he was still really worried about it and I said why don't you go up to urgent care, they can look at it, and it will probably make you feel better to just have someone else say it's gas. 

He's really worried and wanted me to go with him, but I was worried about calling into work again and I had a consultation appointment with an oral surgeon. (maybe I'll talk about that later. I've been keeping a lot of things to myself lately. This may not be the healthiest of things to do) 

So Dan drove himself to Urgent Care, and I did some chores around the house. Then got ready for the day and headed into the oral surgeon. Where they tell me I have to have a $100 dollar X-ray my insurance won't cover. Then Dan texts me. 

   "They're sending me to the ER for an ultrasound, they think it might have something to do with my appendix"

Ok I think, it's not the first time he's been sent to the ER by the doc because he has stomach issues.  He'll get there, they'll do the ultrasound, they don't find anything and he'll come home. 

Little while later as I'm heading into work... He texts again, "They're going to do a CT scan at 4:30, they skipped the ultrasound"  

Ok, slightly more worried here... they're really covering their bases... I'm sure it's nothing... he'll text once it's done and be on his way home. 

I wait.. and I wait... I'm getting more nervous as the time goes by... (not allowed to have our phone out a work getting up and walking away from the work area every 20 mins was starting to annoy my co-workers).... finally I get...

"I have appendicitis, they're going to take it out. They're keeping me over night and everything will be ok"

Full on freak out mode hits. Then the hospital calls me to give me his PIN number and tell me where to find him so I can see him before they take him in. 

I run to the closing TL, tell her "my husband has appendicitis they're taking it out, I'm going to the hospital." I get a reminder to call the absentee line and I grab my shit and ran out the door.  I'm sure on the way there I received a few fingers. 

I get there and the reception lady is telling me to go wait in the waiting room, "uh no.. you don't understand my husband is up there and I want to see him and they told me I could." She calls up and she says ok I'll walk you there, but then she stops and tells me where to go once I get up there, all the while I'm watching the elevator open and let people in and she's still talking to me. I didn't want to be rude anymore so I listened and missed the elevator only to pace like a caged lion waiting for the stupid elevator to get back down. I go into the pre-op area just 5 mins before they are going to send him in.  He's crying I'm crying, we hug kiss and tell each other we love each other...and I go to sit for 2 agonizing hours in the waiting room,  Texting, calling, Facebooking everyone. Resisting the urge to yell at the 12 year old boy this family dragged with them to the hospital who was whining because he was bored. I was totally not in the best frame of mind for this. 

I get notified from the big scary security dude that I have a call at the front desk. It's the doctor, who I didn't even get to meet or look at (was not happy about that either) tells me that they got it out just in time. It was very swollen, but had not ruptured yet. 

Another 45 mins later they let me up to see him, and I finally calm down.  I walked with him over to his room. (which of course had to be over at the other building..)  Sit with him for a while and then we both decide it's time for me to go home so he can rest and I can decompress. 

We both knew this would be best for him. I would constantly worry and watch TV and Dan wouldn't get to rest like he needed too. So I went home so we could both relax.  I was happy to find out that my dogs that I had left in the house 10 hours earlier had not had an accident. (the newest one we were still training) Took a bath, started to pre-heat the oven, changed laundry, fed the animals their dinner, and was finally able to sit and type this out. It originally started as a quicky facebook post, and when it started to get long, I changed it into a blog. 

This has to be the last major thing, I seriously do not know if I can handle more.  I saw my dog die, my precious Carly, the day after new years. My cousin... it's even hard to type it... took his life, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and one of my best friends from when I was a tween was diagnosed with MS.  

I started to see a therapist last month because of everything that has happened. I'm finally to the point where I am not breaking down crying if I just see a picture of Carly or think of her. I got on new meds as well, and going to a psychiatrist myself. (same one as Dan actually).  I'm finally taking care of my teeth after I dunno how many years of really neglecting them, and getting other issues taken care of that I've ignored for a long time.  I'm going back to school to get my bachelor's degree, I'm trying to get my life turned around and why does life keeping throwing shit right back at me?

I dunno... and I'm going to try to stay positive, and strong and work through this crap. I think writing it all out helped me a bit.... maybe..