Fourth of July

Ahh the fourth of July Weekend is done and complete.  I had a good time, spent some good quality time with the boys and Dan.  We had fun with some friends Sunday night and then went to the Midland fireworks on Monday.

Now I don’t know if it was because we picked kinda a bad spot, we were behind some trees but the Midland ones were not that impressive, at least not compared to the Frankenmuth ones.  It could’ve been we were not in the best place to see the fireworks, because there was a line of trees and we could not see the lower ones. 

Perhaps next year when we go, we’ll go and sit closer in front of the trees.

I tell ya, you really get to see people when you go to the fireworks.

In Frankenmuth there were a ton of really nice people and the kids all got together and played together and the parents could just chill out and watch their kids have fun.

In Midland, everyone stayed closed together.  When the boys tried to play with some other kids, they were ignored.  There was one kid that played with the boys, who seemed nice, but his dad literally spent the whole time looking at his phone, and not interacting with his son or anybody. To me that’s pretty sad.

Let’s see, what did we do this weekend?  Friday I came home from work and we decided to have a bonfire, so we lit some of the brush piles that we have in the back, and the boys enjoyed that.  We also set up all the tiki torches that I have.  Well not all.  There are still the 4 from previous years that need to be cleaned and set back up.  It really helps keep the bugs away, let me tell you.

Saturday was a day of gardening and playing outside, playing with the hose, and just being goofy.  The kids shaved their dad’s head.  There’s a video of it on YouTube.  They boys loved it.  They also made their own “web show”  like iCarly, which lasted one whole minute, but they had fun.

Sunday we relaxed and cleaned the boys books and toys, and then went to the Frankenmuth fireworks with some good friends of ours.

Monday was more playing in the water and fireworks, pretty much your typical 4^th weekend.

So this morning was back to the old grind, and after I got dressed I turned on the Today show.  Love that show by the way, been watching it since I was a kid.  Anyways they were interviewing a woman whose ex-husband’s wife posted a sex ad on craigslist posting as her.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/43638421#43638421

I mean really, why would someone do that?  That is deliberately putting those small children and that woman in danger.  I mean, I would be livid if that happened to me.  You do not know what kind of people answer those ads. Was there not a man who murdered prostitutes that were advertising on Craigslist?  This could of happened to this woman and her 3 small children.  The ex-husband’s wife claims it was all done as a prank, but that is one serious prank, and I say it was probably done maliciously.

 Once again I am so thankful, for the relationship I have with Dan’s ex-wife. 

I just don’t understand how people can be so mean and rude and vindictive to each other.  Look whatever happened, happened, and you either deal with it and move on, or you let it fester and control your whole life where you make dumb stupid mistakes.

Anyways, time to get off of my soapbox.

I have my surgery on Friday, and I go in and see doctor tomorrow about what happened last Monday.  Oh! I don’t think I told y’all what happened.

So last Monday, I’m at work.  Typical work day, nothing too excited except we have a new part time person who started.  I went to the bathroom, and afterwards came out, the new girl’s badge was not working properly and so I showed her how she can get in another way through the break room, and thankfully her badge worked in that door.  So I walk back to my desk and suddenly I get a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, right where my uterus is.  I think, maybe I didn’t get rid of everything that was in my colon, so I stumble back to the bathroom, it hurt so bad I could barely walk, and try to go to the bathroom again.  Nothing.  I stumble my way back out, and I see one of the other department supervisors, and tell her, I think I need to go to the hospital.  She gets my boss, and my boss’s boss, and come check me out and we all decide, yeap, need to go to the hospital.  So I stumble off to my boss’s car and she rushes me to St. Mary’s Hospital that is just around the corner from us.  She drops me off at the door and goes to park.  I walk in, and they tell me “You have to sign in”  Say wha?! So I sign in and go take a seat, fortunately there is no one else there, and the triage nurse calls me in, who proceeds to ask me a TON of questions, all the while I am crying in pain.  I tell her, “Give me something to take away the pain, and I’ll answer all your stupid questions”  To which she tell me, no you have to answer these. 

I finally get into a room, and then have to wait for the doctor who asks me if I want an ultrasound or not.  Listen dude, I nucking can not think straight right now, give me something to take away the pain, and then we’ll talk.   After I tell him about the fibroid he decides ok, I’ll get the MRI (which was done 3 weeks previous to this incident)  and we’ll do a pelvic exam then pain medicine.  I tell him no, I want it right now.  Forutnately he listens and 20 mins after he leaves I get a shot of Morphine.   Whoa, that’s some stuff, but it took away the pain, and that’s all I cared about.

Finally 6 hours later after blood tests and crap, he comes back and says, “yeah it’s the fibroid that you know about, here’s some prescriptions to deal with the pain.”  No explanation as to why it suddenly started hurting or anything, but at that point, I just wanted to go home.

I call my OBGYN’s office the next day, tell them what happened, and they said, take the T3’s but not the Motrin because of your laparoscopic surgery next week.  Ok, no big deal.  Then I get to thinking, I’m in pain, can barely move and hardly sit and it hurts to go to the bathroom… is my doctor going to do anything about that? So I call them back, the problem is my doctor is away at a conference all week.  So I talk to the office manager who relays the messages.  She says I’m scheduled for a diagnostic laparoscopic surgery with possible removal of endometriosis, and nothing about doing anything with my uterus.

Ok, well I need to talk to the doctor because things have changed.   So I go see her tomorrow, and tell her what happened, and see what the plan is.  I’ll probably still have surgery on Friday, but maybe schedule another to take my fricken uterus out.  I don’t use it, I hate the darn thing, and it’s pretty obvious I’m not going to have children of my own. 

I’ve come to terms with it, I don’t like it a whole lot, but I married a man that had a vasectomy and reversing that isn’t covered by insurance, and it’s hella expensive.  I got two beautiful little step-babies that I love with all my heart and they make me extremely happy.  Especially when they cuddle with me, like they did at both fireworks.  That is something that I will remember for a long time.

Been doing pretty good!

Woot! I’ve been regularly updating my blog.  Go me!!

So I finally got to go jumping last weekend, thanks to the lovely bank of Dad.  My daddy is so sweet, and I am a tried and true daddy’s girl.  He paid for my USPA renewal and for my jumps.  When we got to the DZ he said, “Where’s your helmet”    My helmet trap broke and I needed a new chin strap, and was just too lazy to go on and do it.  Lots of people jump without helmets all the time, so I didn’t think too much of it. 

Well that apparently isn’t good enough for my dad.  Next thing I knew he bought the helmet that was for sale in the display case and boom, I had a new helmet.  So that’s my birthday gift taken care of for next month.  ^_^

I had two jumps that day.  The first one was rough,  first time jumping in 8 months.  Man the butterflies were just a going, so much so that I almost didn’t make a 2^nd jump.  Dad talked me into it, and I’m SSOOOO glad I did.  It was a most awesome jump where I went out and enjoyed myself.  There was a cloud, shaped like a horseshoe, and I went right through the horseshoe part.  It was so cool!!  I probably should get me one of those gopro cameras and put it on my helmet so that I could show you all.  Maybe that’s what I’ll ask for Christmas... hmmm.

anyways here's a picture of my new helmet, modeled by the cutest 6 year old in the world.

Other exciting news is that my best friend is finally getting married to her boyfriend.  Let me give you the lowdown on this little story.  Almost two years ago, Alissa was sad she left her 2^nd husband, and was lonely and asked me, “Why can’t I find a rich good looking guy who loves kids and is good to me?”  She said it jokingly, but I knew that she was kinda serious. 

So that night, I was wracking my brain wondering if I could hook Alissa up with someone, as I laid down in bed and said my prayers, I said, “God help me out here, Alissa needs a good guy”  Boom! Shane popped into my head and I’m like… Duh! That would be perfect! 

This is why God rocks.

Anyways, after much pushing and shoving on my part because they are the two most shyest people in the stinking WORLD, they went on a date to the movies, and then started seeing each other on a regular basis.   After a few months… things went downhill.  They broke up, but decided to stay friends.  Things stayed this way for a long time.  They hung out every night together, went on dates, but they weren’t really dates, because they were just friends, (at least that’s what I was told).  Then earlier this month, drama happened, and they both spilled their feelings for each other and decided to date again.  Then yesterday I get a text “Shane and I are engage”   Commence Happy Kat Dance.

I have now thrown myself into Wedding Planner/Maid of Honor roll.  I have scheduled her hair and make up for their wedding date, commissioned someone to do invitation, and made a couple of appointments this weekend for her to try on dresses.  Dan is ready to bury his head in the sand because I’m so excited.  I’m even worrying Alissa a bit, but if she plans stuff now, she can do payment plans on the vendors and get it all taken care of now, and not worry about any big scary unexpected expenses popping up.

I’m also going to be planning her wedding shower, and I’m helping plan a baby shower as well.

I love this planning stuff!  Maybe I should go into the event planning business; we’ll see how these 3 events go.

I should probably make some spreadsheets up and some binders to hold all the information in. 

Ok now onto the soap box portion of my happy little blog.

Brystol Palin has come out with book, talking about her life.  You’re 20 years old chicky… You haven’t lived long enough to have a memoir, but the crap that you say in this book, you will regret in 10 years, cause trust me. I regret a lot of stuff I did when I was 20. 

It’s just a huge publicity stunt, where she rips on her ex boyfriend/fiancée Levi Johnson, and talk about how wonderful her mom is.  I mean seriously… her mom probably wrote the book and put Brystol’s name on it.  Oh and Levi is coming out with a book later this year.

I mean really people?  You’re not even old enough to drink, what do you expect to accomplish when you’re writing these books and trashing each other?  It’s like Facebook, but in print and you’re expecting people to buy it.

The sad thing is… people will buy it.  The same people who was Fox News all the time and think that Fox News is fair and equal reporting. /commence eye roll

Another thing to eye roll on is the fricken government.  Obama went on the news last night, saying they are starting preparations to bring 33,000 troops home by July next year, and then even more by 2014.

Then Democrats cried out, “That’s too fast, it’ll make Afghanistan fall apart”  and then the republicans turn around, “That’s not fast enough, bring our people home!”

I mean really?  Is the political divide so bad that we have to criticize everything that Obama is doing?!   Like check out this cartoon, from NPR Double Take http://www.npr.org/2011/06/14/137175063/double-take-toons-gop-all-stars

Obama did a lot of things that the republicans want, and a lot of things that democrats wanted.  He’s not the best president, but he’s not the worse.  He’s done what he can to do to do compromise, and in the process, he’s making everyone made because they want their way or the highway.

That’s enough political stuff.  I have a friend who does a feral cat rescue.  Basically she buys food for feral cats, traps them, gets them fixed, and let’s them out into the wild once more; because they are feral they can not be adopted.

However, the last 3 weeks, she’s been like peter piper and has every lost kitten and puppy come find her.  I’ve been helping her find homes for some animals.  She cares about these animals so much, that she got plane tickets all the way up here to give two kittens homes. She paid more than my mortgage payment to get up here. I've been helping her try to find homes for some of the kitties that she has. There are SOOO many animals that need to go to good homes, most of the time they are euthanized, if they do not.  If you can go visit her facebook page Paws for the Cause Feral Cat Rescue and donate some money so that it helps buy food for the cats.

So please if you are looking for an animal, instead of spending a lot of money, rescue a homeless animal. You’ll never find a more loving companion.

Riding on the pity wagon

Oi, what a rough couple of days, and I’m an emotional mess on top of it.

Dan comes to me this morning, and says, “I don’t think I’m up for going down to your parents this weekend.”

Le sigh.  I mean, everyone understands Dan’s issues, but Dan was feeling this after the whole fiasco yesterday and it’s frustrating to me.  It happened yesterday, we had a problem we fixed it.  End of story.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case with Dan. 

Here’s the thing, I’ll have a bad day.  I will come home and vent for 20 -30 mins, Dan will listened and then the rational part of my brain kicks in and I calm down and everything is fine. 

Dan will literally not let it go for days.  Even this morning as I was getting ready to leave for work, he talked about his anger and frustration over what happened yesterday.  Then I get frustrated over him still dwelling on it.

I mean there are a lot of other things that could be wrong with out relationship, and it’s probably just because I am still an emotional wreck because of Aunt Flo visiting, and me worrying that this is the weirdest period that I’ve had in a long time, which could be because of the stress.  S

I know TMI, but it’s my blog. Don’t like it.. don’t nucking read it. 

I’m sitting here crying while I write this and I have no idea why.  I mean Dan has not gone to family functions before and I’ve been ok with it.  Why am I having such issues right now with it.

Look I do not have the easiest of situations, and I look at other people and wish that it was easier for me. 

Let me just step on the pity party wagon a little bit.

I will never have my own children, I will constantly be Mama Kat and not Mama, and that sucks ass. Not because of my parts not working, but because Dan got fixed during his first marriage.  I don’t blame him or his ex-wife; it’s something a lot of couples do when they do not want to have anymore children.  I have come to terms with this a long time ago, and I’m fine with that. I have two wonderful beautiful step-babies that I love to death, and I could not imagine my world without them.   But I am just the step-mom, I’ll never be as important or as awesome in their eyes at their mother.  When the boys get married, they will dance with their mom during the mother/son dance, and I’ll be off to the side taking pictures.  I know their mom and I will be right there next to each other helping plan and doing wedding type stuff together, but that one little moment.  I will never have.  For the most part this does not bother me, but sometimes, like today, it hurts like hell.

I am married to a man with a serious disability and he will never work again.  For the most part I have to be the strong one, the rational one, and be supportive to him when he has an attack.  I can not always count on him being there at a family function or an event with just us.  We have bought things for him to attend and then he has an attack and that’s money gone down the hole because he can not go.  I am sometimes left with the kids by myself, and sometimes it can get a little rough with two rambunctious little boys and one step-mom that’s learning a lot on the fly. 

I am an adventurous person, who likes to go and do things… my husband with his condition would rather stay home. 

I love my husband dearly, and he is the best and most wonderful man that I know, but we have our problems just like everyone else, and sometimes it gets to me.  

Ok, that’s enough time on the pity wagon, and by typing this all out has helped me a lot.

That’s another good reason to just have a blog, so you can type out your thoughts and realize there’s a lot worse that could be going on in your life than just this. 

Ok Withey, stop feeling sorry for yourself, you have a lot of stuff to get ready for this weekend.

Oi what an afternoon!

Today was an odd day to say the least.  First off I woke up late, so I had 20 mins to get dressed and out the door, so no make-up or anything, and I forget my phone.  Work then is slow because I could not get a hold of an agent to save my life today. 

Suddenly Dan sends me an e-mail asking him to call him.  Ok, when that happens I know there is an issue, I borrow my co-workers phone and then head out to the break room.  

Dan answers and he is quite upset.  The nurse at Saginaw Pysch decided to look into Dan's massively huge file, and came to the determination based on paperwork, that Dan was not taking his medication as prescribed.  Namely he was not taking two of his anti pyschosis medicine.  So he must not be doing good, and therefore he must go into rehab (again) to make sure he's taking his medicine. Dan explained that he was doing everything and she balls out told him, no you're not, I don't believe you. 

Now they say he's not taking two medicines that he should be, and they're right Dan was not taking two medicines. One he wasn't taking because it's fricken $2,000 for 30 pills and the other he's allergic to.  Both of which we explained to the doctor. 

So Dan is understandably upset and so the nurse schedules Dan an appointment for 5:15 and I said I would go along to give support. 

We get there, Dr. starts accusing Dan and until we pointed to paperwork that said, "remember you took him off of this for this reason"  that he remembered. We brought the nurse in explained it to her, and we came to the conclusion yes Dan is taking his medicine that he is suppose to. 

So that's what happened today, let me explain how this whole mess came to be:

Back in April, Dan got his usual prescriptions filled, but it was at the end of the month which is always tight for us, so instead of getting a 90 day supply he went and got a 30 day supply.  Pharmacy said that's fine, we'll give you the other 60 days later.  So 30 days pass and it's time for more pills.  Goes up to the pharmacy, and they said, "well you shouldn't need a refill, we'll have to call the doctor" This is where is gets a little messed up because everyone forgot that we only got a 30 day supply.  They call the doctors office, they said.. "he shouldn't need any more till July"  which sends up a red flag, which causes the doctor's office to look into his file.  The psychiatrist, who barely speaks English and has even worse handwriting, never put down in his chart that Dan stopped taking some medication.  Dan's therapist then reports that Dan has been having some difficulty sleeping and has been having nightmares.  To which the nurse then says, "well he's not filling his anti-psychosis medicine, he's altering the prescription and therefore he must be a bad person"  

So at the meeting with the doctor, Dan gets angry... doctor gets angry, and I have to step in and make everyone calm down and look at paperwork. 

At the end, doctor prescribes Dan a new anti psychosis drug, because when we said, "we can't afford 2k a month for medicine"  he dropped it and didn't replace it with anything.  

So basically this all happened because of shoddy record keeping.  

Quiet Week

So, it’s been somewhat of a quiet week.  Not a whole lot to report. 

I got my surgery kit from my doctor, telling me what to expect and when to be at the hospital and all that fun happy jazz.

So I think I’ll talk about some of my opinions.

This whole Weinergate thing… has gotten WAAAYY out of hand.  Ok, so the guy’s a sleezeball, we get that much.  He basically cheats on his wife, and uses the internet to boost this self esteem.   I can guarantee you that is the reason why he does what he does.  The thing is, he shouldn’t lose his job over it.   As far as anyone’s been able to tell, he used his personal phone, his personal computer, and his own stuff to do these stupid things.  He didn’t use federal money to do this, and therefore did not violate any federal laws that I am aware of.   To be honest, he’s better behaved that John Edwards or any of the other douche bags that have been caught screwing around on their wives.  The media has been covering this way too much, and the late night talk show hosts have been going over it way too much as well.  Then again, the media covers everything way too much.

Went camping this weekend, had a pretty good time.  Note to self, don’t go camping when you’re PMSing, it does make for a happy time.  I was ok for the most part, but my patience was very thin, and by the time we got home, it was gone.  I did do ok though for the most part.  The boys had a blast; they loved the paddle boats and wanted to go on them all the time.  After two rounds on the paddle boats Mama Kat’s legs were very tired. So I convinced them to spend some time in the pool.  After two hours there, they really wanted to go back on the paddle boats, and the promised they would do the peddling, and all I had to do was chill out in the back.  So they did.  They paddled all the way out to a fountain and then back for the most part. Their little legs pooped out about a hundred yards from the dock so I took over again.  By then the sun came out and they got to go play on the beach and swim in the pond.  The next day they learned how to fish in the morning, but it was cold and cloudy and the fish weren’t biting, so we called it a day packed up and headed home.  We were all very tired and spent the rest of the day relaxing, but little boys get bored easily.  Kicking them outside proved fruitless since the mosquitoes were horrendous, and I didn’t want them playing videos games all day the classic phrase, “I’m bored” filled the house, and that’s when my patience ended.  Fortunately my wonderful glorious husband was able to take the boys and I went and hid in my room for the rest of the night.

Saturday we went and visited my niece at her dojo for a bake sale for St. Jude.  Tabbed seemed very happy we were there.  She’s doing GREAT in school and is now a yellow belt. I must say I am EXTREMELY proud of her!  It’s not often that you see a lot of girls her age that is not always on Facebook, doing well in school, and not hanging out with the wrong crowd.  She’s going to go far and do lots of great things.   My nephew Jake won a contest for building a boat using only a certain set of materials.  The kid’s a geniuses and is probably going to be richer than I will ever achieve in my lifetime.  He just knows how things work and how to put them together.   I must say I’m a very proud aunt.

Ben and Nick did great in their new school.   Ben is making leaps and bounds in his improvement, though we need to monitor who he hangs out with.  He met a boy camping who was about his age, and whose mother said he was autistic too. We thought great, someone Ben can hang out with!  After a few hours of playing with this child, we decided that was enough hanging out with Dylan. He was very rude and disrespectful to his parents, and Ben picked it up.  So Sunday Ben was not on his best behavior.  After a long talk, Ben immediately improved and offered an apology, but it really made me realize how much he picks up from kids.  Ben and Nick are wonderfully behaved.  When I see other children and then look at Ben and Nick I realize how blessed we truly are.  Ben and Nick both know to respect their elders and use their manners.  Ben forgets from time to time, but a quick reminder usually sets him back on track. 

Anyways, Nick brought home a DVD from his class. His teacher made a DVD of pictures of all the kids throughout the year. It was great seeing that.  I’m going to make a copy (found out I could do that with my laptop) and send the original back with their mom.

Speaking of being blessed, Dan and I are also blessed to have a great relationship with the boy’s mom and her boyfriend.  I can’t tell you how many times I meet parents and they do not have a good relationship with the kid’s biological mom/dad.  I tell people that I’m friends with the boy’s mom and they give me a weird look.  We’re not the best of friends, but we go shopping for the boys together.  We buy stuff for the boys; she buys stuff for the boys.  All of us go to special events for the boys together.  The boys love it, and we’re all in it together.  Now to be perfectly honest, if the boys weren’t there.  We would never talk to her, she wouldn’t talk to us, but we do have the boys and we all make it work.  I really wish more people would do this. 

Don’t get me wrong, when Dan and her first broke up, it was rough.  It’s been 5 years now, and it’s taken a lot to get where we are. But we worked at it. I think more parents who have split need to do that.  Yeah when you first break up, it’s not easy, but it’s for the kids.  Put your petty differences aside and just try to stay cordial for the kids. It gets easier with time, trust me.   The boy’s mom is a great mom so that helps and Dan is a great dad.  I understand there are some dead beats out there, and there’s nothing you can do about them taking off and thinking only of themselves.  There are way too many people like that and it pisses me off, but if your baby daddy or baby mama is in the picture, take a deep breathe be cordial and try your darndest to make it work.  Please for the kids sake.

Ok, I guess that’s about all I have for now.  I’ll talk to you all next week!

Things are going a little better

Well it's been a crazy bit of a week, but things are finally starting to go on the uptake.

Had my tests done last Friday, and it was not fun.   They took video of the barium mixture going down, and it tasted absolutely horrible, and made me want to vomit, but I couldn't because of the test.  Then they had to watch it go down which took 4 hours. It was horrible. I had to do an MRI as well, but that wasn't so bad as soon as I knew what was going to happen.  Waiting the four hours while the stuff moved through my system, sitting in the most uncomfortable chairs, it totally killed my poor back.

I told my boss that I would be done around noon probably, and that I would be in work.  She kept saying, no you won't.  Well she was right. I called her right after and said, yeah I'm not coming in.  She just laughed and said, I figured.

Got back home rested, and then Dan grabbed the kiddos, and we headed down to my parents house.  I need some TLC from my family, and Daddy was marching in the St. Clair Shores Memorial Day parade. It's been a goal of his to march again, ever since he got too big to fit into his uniform.  Daddy is not down to 286 lbs. from his largest weight of 440.  For example:

This is Daddy 1 year ago at my brother's commissioning and graduation

and this is daddy, nearly 160lbs later.  What a difference right?!

He marched and we were all so proud of him.

We were all so incredibly proud of him and mom and I were balling like mad.  But he did it!!  He was pretty tired and sore at the end of it, but he was happy.  The boys ran up and gave him a hug when he passed by, he was really touched. Daddy was a little uncomfortable with the boys when Dan and I first got together, but he's really come around.  He really loves them, and does lots of things for them. He basically begged to be in the color guard because "The grandkids are coming"  It's hard to explain, but if you know my dad, and the fact that he goes out and buys box chocolate milk just for Ben you know he loves them.

Anyways we head home Monday morning, and Gidget comes and picks up the boys, and they head to another BBQ with Casey's family.  Dan and I decide it's time for some nice quiet alone time. Then my phone rings.  My poor little brother was freaking out, full blown panic attack, I've never really seen him this freaked out before.  Slight backstory, he caught his girlfriend in a lie, and this was another one of some doozie's she's been doing, and my brother got sick of it. So he broke up with her.  She comes back with I'm Pregnant.  Yeah not cool little chicky.  After I talked to Matt, we were able to find the picture she sent him as "proof" on Google, and realized she was lieing yet again. So this chica is out of the picture now.  I specifically remember telling this girl.  If you want to screw up your relationship with my brother.  Lie to him.  He hates lying.  Look girlies, if your relationship is about to end, doing desperate attempts to save it, will only cause heart ache for you.

Went back to work Tuesday. Dr. McNeir's office called the house with the test results.  I have a hiatal hernia, and a fibroid mass on my uterus.  Don't know what we're going to do about them yet, but I'll find that out next week, which I will then let you all know.  I 'm just glad it's not anything super serious, and easily treatable.  I may still lose my girlie bits, but to be honest, I've wanted them to take that darn thing out for ages because of how much I HATE my periods.

Well that's about it for me.  Have a great day y'all.

Scared crapless

So, I've been sick a lot this year.  I've had the stomach flu about 3 times since February, and I have used all 64+ hours of PTO at work, and half the year isn't even over yet.  To me, it was just.. well the stomach flu, except I kept getting diarrhea, well to be honest, it never really left.

So both my husband and my mother were nagging me, go to the doctor, go to the doctor, go to the doctor.  I do not like going to the doctor. Let give you a bit of a background on this reasoning:

Rewind to 1992. I'm 12 years old, and I'm in tap, jazz, ballet, and lyrical dance classes. I love dancing, there was nothing that I wanted to do more than dance. Well I don't even remember how it happened, but I pulled a hamstring.  I had to be on crutches for 6 weeks, and well, I babied my leg pretty bad.  So much so that my L-2 and L-3 vertebrae got misaligned, and my hip stuck out after some time  Keep in mind, I was in 6th grade and not exactly of the popular crowd. Much teasing was had at my expense. So mom takes me to the doctor who refers us to a pediatric orthopedic surgeon who tells us. You'll need surgery.

So, September of that year (Just starting 7th grade), I went in and had surgery where they re-aligned my vertebrae, and put me in a body cast for 3 months.  I could not sit down for that entire time.  It sucked.  I had to take sponge baths, and couldn't sit on a toilet.  I had to eat laying down on my side, and forget about all the itching!!  I was had a homebound tutor because I couldn't sit at a desk. She went around to all the schools and taught the kids who couldn't go to school because they were sick. My classmate Phil and I were her only middle schoolers, the rest were high school teens that had gotten pregnant and couldn't go to school with their baby bumps. (remember 1992)

So finally 3 months later the cast comes off, and I head back to school. YAY!! I walk into class and I literally hear, "Hey Katrina, we thought you were dead"  Yeah, good times. Anyways, I get back into the swing of things, but then around February of that year, I got sick.  I was so sick that I could not keep anything, not even water, in my stomach.  So off to the hospital I go, where I spend 3 weeks in there and I get poked and prodded 3 different ways from Sundays trying to figure out why I can not keep food in my stomach.  They finally figure out that a nasty virus had settled in my stomach and just had to work it's way out.  Phil, who had leukemia, was admitted to St. John's about the same time I was for kidney failure.  He was released before I was because the doctor's argued about what was wrong with me every single day.  High point though is that I got to meet Cecil Fielder and get his autograph.  Bad point I left the Polaroid with the signature in the hospital room.  Anyway, I was released and I got to back to school.

Dr. Montgomery said that there was a small chance that the scoliosis in my upper spine before my surgery may get worse, and just my dumb luck, at a follow up appointment in March, the scoliosis went from a 13 degree curve, to a 36 degree curve. Great.  So mom and the Dr. decided I would wear a back brace that would stop the curve from growing and then I would have surgery when I was 18.  I had to wear it 22 hours a day, and it was HUGE.  I was 12 years old, and weighed 98 lbs, and had to wear size 22 clothing to fit over this monstrous thing, oh yeah, and go to school.  Needless to say, people had more ammo to toss at me.

I despised that thing, so here I was thinking I was being all cunning would sneak an extra set of my old clothes with me to school, and then hide that brace in a practice room in the band room, and then head on to class. This seemed to work for quite a few weeks, I even remember going to an appointment and the curve had improved by 1 degree.  So life was getting a little better. Until one day I was walking down the back hall of Kennedy, and there was a fight on one side of the hallway.  I walked around the fight going to my class, but then the fight came to me, and the two boys slammed into me which smashed me into the brick wall and knocked my dinky ass out.  So all the teachers freaked, "oh no Katrina and her back"  Once I came too I was fine, but everyone found out I wasn't wearing my brace.  So Mom and I had a good long talk, and I told her, if I have to have surgery when I was 18, why can't I just do it now and get it over with?  She agreed, and we both talked Dr. Montgomery into doing it as well.

So I got out of school two weeks early, and went back to good ole Beaumont hospital. I was in surgery for 5 hours and I grew two inches while they placed 2 rods and 12 hooks in my back.  There was no cast this time and I was in PICU, cause most people are not awake there. So if I was thirsty or just wanted to be turned., I was basically paralyzed and could not move on my own, I had to call out for the nurse.  Then on the 4th night, I wake up in the middle of the night, and there are a ton of people around me.  I had stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating.  I was physically dead for about 2 mins.  When I woke up and asked what was going on, the nurse explained it and showed me how the monitors would sound an alarm if they didn't move.  Well then my smart ass figured out how to get the nurses to come the next night by simply holding my breath.

I was thankfully moved to a normal room the next day, and spent another two weeks there, getting poked every single day.

So I spent maybe a whole 3 months in school during my 7th grade year.  I know that summer when I went home I knew I didn't ever want to be in the hospital again. That summer I did a ton of stuff I wasn't supposed to do, but I kept thinking, I feel fine, and I want to enjoy life.  I still keep doing stuff I'm not suppose to do. Dr. Montgomery would have a conniption if he knew I skydived.  Last two times I went to the ER because I twisted my ankle really bad and bruised my tail bone, the doctors always gave me that condescending look.

So fast forward again to this year, finally I relent and go to the doctors office about all my symptoms, and since my old sweet 80 year old family doctor finally retired, I get the new guy who I've never met. He fires off a barrage of questions and goes, "Well, we're going to figure this out" and signs me up for a bunch of test. To which I glower at my husband and then complain to my mom about, but she's happy as a lark because it's the full work up she's been wanting for ages.

Well they did a CT scan and found an "Abnormal Mass" on my uterus, and it's pressing against my rectum which is causing the diarrhea.  More than likely it's a fibroid, and it's been there my entire life, because I've always had crappy periods.  GYN's before assumed endomitriosis and controlled it with birth control.  But for some odd reason, this "mass" is growing, and it's causing issues. Which my new younger Dr says it could be cancer.  So They're doing and MRI to figure out where it is, what it is, and what it's doing.  I will probably have to have it removed, which means surgery, which means I'm not a happy person.

The throwing up is something completely different probably and I get to have more fun tests for that.

On top of it all, since I hardly ever went to the doctor in the last oh.. 10 years.. I finally decided, "I'll get the cheap insurance, I don't use what I pay for"

Murphy's Law

Holy Sniggity

So I'm sitting at home the other day and I think, I should probably write a journal, and then I'm like, hey I have that blogger thing. I should probably use it.

So here it is again, as I try to update on a consistent level.

New News.  I bought my first "new" car today from a dealership.  Technically it's used, but it's a 2010 chevy impala and it's super nice and has that "new car" smell that I absolutely love. It was a bit of a process, mostly because Dan put the car sale people through their paces.  I will tell you this, even though we spent 3 hours at the dealership, I got the best car, and when we found some issues with the windshield, I put Dan on it and now we have a new windshield.

The people at Garber Chevrolet are great, and were the only people that could put me in a car.  Mid year resolution, get the credit back up.  It's a bit of a hassle, and it's going to be tight for the next few years, but I want to be totally out of debt, except for the house, and then we can take the money that we've been paying towards these bills, and pay a little extra on the house. Or buy something else which I love to buy stuff.

Main thing that we're going to have to not do with the new car. Stop going out to eat.  Love going out to eat, it's my favorite thing in the world, but I just looked and we spent over $100 dollars in the last two weeks on going out to eat.  That's a little ridonkulous, so that has to stop.

House is coming together nicely, going to start getting stuff ready to put in my brick patio this year.  Definitely looking forward to that.

But before any of that, gotta get healthy.  As anyone following my facebook has seen, my butt has been sick this year with the stomach flu a lot.  Regular doc thinks it's more than just the stomach flu, so I've gone in for several test and a CT scan.  CT scan didn't show anything on the stomach part, but found an "abnormal mass" on my uterus.  Whatever that means, but it doesn't sound good.  So now I go for an MRI for the "abnormal mass"  and an esphiogram for the stomach. I get to lie on a table for an hour and a half and they watch white stuff go through me. Oh the wonderful joys /sarcasm

Everyone knows I do not like going to the doctor's.  I'm almost as bad as my dad, but I got sick again Thursday and Friday, and I'm just plain sick of it.  Hopefully they'll be able to figure it out.

I'm having a pampered chef party in two weeks, and I'm excited about that, though it doesn't seem like a lot of people will come, but I think I will make some good sales.

That's about all I have for today, I'll update you on work stuffs later.

Sunday

So making a post, simply because I am bored.  Nothing really to report.

This last week the client was in the office, and things went smoothly.  It was a lot of hard work, but by the end of the week things were better.

I was fighting a cold all week.

Finally was able to get some work done on my tattoo

I had a lot more to say.. but I seem to have forgotten in.

More next week.

Whoa dude.

Let me tell you, it's been a fun.. couple of weeks.   Just gotta keep on swimming, and think smiling happy people everywhere!

New phone system at work, as well as a new building, all the while training and continuing to call for the annual programs, and the client is visiting the same day that we start out in the new building.

I currently work by myself from 8 to 9 and in the new building everyone is quiet, definitely a difference from M1. 

I like our new office, it's very clean and bright, and has nice big windows, draw back to the big windows.. it's fricken freezing in here.  It also does not help that the docking bay is right outside our area with non-sealed doors between us and the docking bay.

Oh well, I have my sweater and I'll bring in a blanket and all will be fine.

I'm the kind of person that can easily roll with change, something changes, all right.  Yet there are a lot of people who do not, and I work with some of them.  It amazes me that people tend to forget Michigan has a 14% unemployment rate, and while this job may not be the greatest in the world, it is by far not the worse.  I work for a great company that seems to care about the people it works for. My TLs are really nice and try their best to keep everyone happy.  I definitely do not envy their job as they try to keep their bosses, the client and their workers all happy at once. It is not an easy thing to do.

Anyways, Family news; My niece Raeanne is selling girl scout cookies, yes.. I now have a constant supplier for my Tag-a-Longs. BWAHAHAH 

Ben and Nick are doing well in school.  Ben is still struggling with math, but we are working on that everyday.  I think as parents all 3 of us do well with the boys. I see them being very successful in life as we have instilled in them you have to work to get things you want.  I recently read an excerpt from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" I've heard lots of reviews on this book recently and decided to read a bit for myself before I purchased anything.  After the excerpt I read, I decided against it.  Amy Chua is a mother of two girls who was born in China and immigrated with her parents over to the United States. She goes on to compare the differences between "Chinese" Parenting and "western" parenting.  Which she uses loosely where "Chinese" parenting is strict parenting, and "western" parenting is more laid back.

Amy Chua's daughters are very successful, her eldest played the piano at Carnegie Hall at age 13, her youngest was taught violin by one of the most sought after instructors in the world. Yet, her methods were very harsh, on the verge of abusive. A piece

     "Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a play date
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extra-curricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin"

I could almost understand most of what she was saying her methods are extreme but in an interview she claimed it was all done in love, so that it was not abuse.  Another piece of the book that actually offended me quite a bit.

"Of course, I also wanted Sophia to benefit from the best aspects of American society.  I did not want her to end up like one of those weird Asian automatons who feel so much pressure from their parents that they kill themselves after coming in second on the national civil service exam.  I wanted her to be well rounded and to have hobbies and activities.  Not just any activity, like "crafts", which can lead nowhere--or even worse, playing the drums, which leads to drugs-- but rather a hobby that was meaningful and highly difficult with the potential for depth and virtuosity. And that's where the piano came in"

I hate to break it to you Mrs. Chua, but the piano is a percussion instrument. Now while I have met some drummers who do drugs, and many popular drummers in bands become drug addicts.  Just because one plays the drums does not mean it leads to drugs.  Percussion can be very meaningful and highly difficult, why don't you play the 5 octave marimba with 6 mallets and see how easy it is?

Amy Chua claimed in her interview she was trying to be satirical and have a bit of tongue in cheek, but in the small amount I read it did not feel that way, and I do not want to read any further.  Demanding high standards from your children is fine, forcing them to play and not giving them bathroom breaks until they mastered a concerto is not.

Dan has been doing ok, some days are better than others, but fortunately seems to have more better than not.  We tried to play with his medication dosage recently and found out, that the cocktail he has works best for him.  It's not the best as it makes him drowsy in the mornings and he has to nap, but without it the bad thoughts come back.  I'd rather he take a nap in the middle of the day than to have those horrible thoughts that come into his mind.  I wouldn't wish what Dan has been going through on anyone.

Parents are good, lil bro was home for a while and now he is off to the grand state of New York to go through prototype school.  He talks about what he has to do and it is way over my head.  So I just nod and smile and realize my brother is going to see and do great things in his life, and I will proudly be watching.

Dan's parents are doing ok. His mom not so much as she is feeling a lot of stress and that makes her condition worse.  Lynn always tries to make everyone happy, and making two people happy that she lives with right now is not easy and it's a strain on her. Dan has to call and remind her to take her medicine every day, otherwise she forgets and does even worse.

Family is family is family, and I will love all of my family members to the day I die, but I do not have to like what they are doing.  Some people are very VERY selfish and can only think of themselves.  They also want all of the rewards but none of the work.  There are ways to getting what you want, and just not in the black and white that you see.  I hope that you can see what you are doing to your mother and how blessed you are to have some place to sleep right now, and not out in the streets, because I know a lot of parents who would've kicked you out for what you have done recently.  Count your blessings one by one and you can see what God has done.

Well there is my post for today, while I wait for the work day to end.  I'm sure I've made a few people angry, and if that's the case... well it is what it is.  I used to be the same as my mother-in-law always trying to make everyone happy.  My resolution is to stop that, and say what is on my mind, I tear myself up too much trying to keep everyone happy but myself.  I know what I have to do to be happy and well, I'm doing it.  God has given me that lesson, and I plan on learning it.